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Post by EspadaIII on Jul 7, 2020 15:54:17 GMT
So, after four weeks in hospital he is home. As I am in quarantine, I cannot visit him but they brough the ambulance to my building and opened the rear doors where he was sitting. We waved and I burst into tears. We will talk later, but he looks a lot more frail than when I saw him on 27th April...
The situation is that he is no longer able to eat and is fed by an intravenous tube using a special machine. it is unlikely that he will gain much weight and I don't think he can walk much either. I hope he gains some strength but now it is simply a matter of time before the cancer gains some control and sees him off. Oh heck... Worst thing of course is I can't visit him for another nine days.
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Post by Humph on Jul 7, 2020 16:16:49 GMT
Is there a nurse with him or something? Surely he can't be on his own?
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WDB
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Post by WDB on Jul 7, 2020 17:49:18 GMT
Don’t be surprised if he holds out long enough for you to see him properly. I last saw my dad the night before we set off on holiday, not because his death was sudden — quite the opposite; we all knew he was fading away. But he was determined that we shouldn’t change our plans on his account, and he duly kept going till the Thursday before our return journey on Saturday. This was what he wanted to be his final gift to us, and I’m convinced he made it happen. (More than he knew, in fact, because Boy2, erm, resulted from that holiday 😊 )
So it can happen. I hope it does for you.
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Post by EspadaIII on Jul 7, 2020 19:42:47 GMT
Is there a nurse with him or something? Surely he can't be on his own? No - there is a 24/7 carer with him. Has been since about two weeks into my first trip..
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Rob
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Post by Rob on Jul 7, 2020 21:11:42 GMT
Stay strong Espada. 9 days will soon be up and you will see him.
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Post by Alanović on Jul 8, 2020 8:06:57 GMT
Thinking of you EIII.
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Post by EspadaIII on Jul 8, 2020 11:54:25 GMT
Thanks. A disturbed night but a better day with the 'home hospice' team kicking in. A very sympathetic doctor came to visit him and then video called me. Knows exactly what we want (which he is in complete agreement with) and has organised equipment and medicines etc to keep him comfortable and I suppose eventually ease him out of this world. He comes weekly (unless needed more often). A nurse comes twice a week and a dedicated socail worker as well.
So many people have suggested he is simply waiting to see me before .... I hope so...
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Rob
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Post by Rob on Jul 23, 2020 0:23:48 GMT
How is your father doing Espada?
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Post by EspadaIII on Jul 23, 2020 9:24:37 GMT
Surprisingly he is managing to stay alive but is very weak and just lies in bed. Calm when asleep and when awake he is clearly upset about his situation but is not unwell enough to be give morphine. Could be a while according to the doctor who is here with us now...
I thought yesterday at one point he was about to take his last breathe, but then he opened his eyes and perked up a little.
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Post by EspadaIII on Jul 28, 2020 19:08:22 GMT
Time to end this thread as my father died earlier today after a fairly rapid deterioration over the last 24 hours. Not a very dignified death but the medical care could not be faulted for that; just the effects of the cancer but at least he is now at peace.
Funeral tomorrow and then I have seven days of mourning, when I sit in my apartment and people come to visit and comfort me. Then I have to sort out his apartment and go home...
Life eh?
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WDB
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Post by WDB on Jul 28, 2020 19:21:20 GMT
My condolences, Esp. You made a brave and dedicated effort to offer him comfort in his final days — so I hope you’ll be able to add that to all your family memories of him in better times. I’ve no doubt he appreciated having you there.
Be kind to yourself, and travel home safely when you’re ready.
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Post by Humph on Jul 28, 2020 19:37:45 GMT
Thinking of you Esp. At least you were able to be with him. My father died when I was 21, by sheer chance I was with him. I held him in my arms as he passed. The ambulance was too late.
Your dad had a good run, and you were there for him, that must have been a comfort to him.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2020 19:40:22 GMT
My condolences to you and your family EspIII. There's never a right time, you can think you're ready to deal with it when the time comes, very rarely does it work out like that when it is someone who was more than a parent.
You'll have many good memories which will override the present.
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Rob
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Post by Rob on Jul 28, 2020 21:23:50 GMT
My condolences too Espada. My thoughts are with you. The end was inevitable but I am glad you got to be with him at the end despite the challenges of this virus. Take care.
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Post by commerdriver on Jul 28, 2020 22:37:05 GMT
Sorry to hear that Esp, sympathies, it will be harder without your wife and children there to support you, all the best.
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