Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2017 9:31:03 GMT
About a year ago I had a full check, top to toe, every test known to man, I think. Mostly driven by two sudden deaths amongst my peers.
The week waiting for the [fortunately mostly negative] results was extremely nerve-wracking and unpleasant.
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Avant
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Post by Avant on Apr 3, 2017 21:35:23 GMT
"And on a lighter note, if I've only got +/- 14 years, then should I really spend any of them in a flipping Skoda?"
At 68, I may have less time than you.....and after several very happy years in three Skodas, and 18 awful months with a B-class Mercedes, I'm not spending any of it in a flipping German taxi. Like you, Humph, I find a wagon useful, although it doesn't need to be quite as cavernous as yours. but I found a GLA equally unimpressive last year on a test drive.
As for funerals, as an organist I'm almost certainly beyond redemption, but a church funeral would be good. i don't much care what happens to my body, but the problem with cremation is the unseemly rush after a church funeral to catch the 'slot' at the crematorium. Burial in the churchyard at least avoids that.
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Rob
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Post by Rob on Apr 3, 2017 22:39:38 GMT
Get cremated early and have a service of celebration of your life later. Sorted.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2017 23:15:55 GMT
>> as an organist I'm almost certainly beyond redemption
My youngest initially got interested in keyboards by wandering down to the front and hoisting herself up onto the bench of an extremely sympathetic organist during services when she was about 3. Perhaps 4. Consequently she learned enough from the organist over the next 4 years or so to join in playing from time to time during services. Nice lady.
Shame really, that's not the sort of instrument one can progress with in Chile. Perhaps she'll take it back up when we get back. Where did you say you played? (think carefully before answering, she's a persistent young lady)
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WDB
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Funerals
Apr 4, 2017 6:44:33 GMT
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Post by WDB on Apr 4, 2017 6:44:33 GMT
Get cremated early and have a service of celebration of your life later. Sorted. Not too early! I'm all for getting difficult tasks out if the way but there are limits.
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Post by tyrednexited on Apr 4, 2017 8:15:33 GMT
Get cremated early and have a service of celebration of your life later. Sorted. Not too early! I'm all for getting difficult tasks out if the way but there are limits. ...OK. I've just booked you in on Friday at the Chilterns Crematorium. Hope 13:00 is not to early for you! (p.s. don't wear your best clothes.......!)
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Post by Humph on Apr 4, 2017 8:36:38 GMT
A lifetime ago, I was on a management trainee scheme with an upmarket footwear brand who had shops, factories and a wholesale business in Europe. At the time their products were seen as highly aspirational.
Part of the training programme involved being assigned to different parts of the business to gain experience of them, and my 6 months in retail were based in one of their shops in the West End of London.
One day a Chinese gentleman came in and I was looking after him. He wanted a specific model of shoe we were then famous for, and bear in mind this was around 1979 when I tell you that even then, these shoes retailed at £149.99.
Not therefore an insignificant purchase. He wanted a UK size 6 but unfortunately we hadn't got that size in stock and in fact only had a size 10 available that day. I offered to get him the size he wanted from the warehouse, but explained that it would take a day or two to make that happen.
He said no, it was fine, he'd just take the 10s. I tried to resist that on the basis that of course they wouldn't nearly fit him, and he'd just end up being disappointed with them. He said it was ok, they were for his father. I, still rather puzzled and concerned, asked him if his father was a size 6. He confirmed that he was. I went on to suggest that if his father, presumably an older gentleman, was a 6 and he bought him size 10s that they might not only be uncomfortable for him, but possibly even dangerous if he tripped up.
He said it was ok, his father was dead and that in his culture, it was appropriate to be buried in your best clothes to wear for eternity. But he did need them today.
Reluctantly, I sold him the the size 10s.
For some time afterwards I couldn't get the image out of my head ( thanks Crankcase ! ) of this old Chinese gentleman spending his afterlife in a huge pair of shoes. And on a more practical level, I did wonder if there had been any issues with regard to getting the coffin lid shut...
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Post by crankcase on Apr 4, 2017 9:38:20 GMT
This:
"For some time afterwards I couldn't get the image of this old Chinese gentleman spending his afterlife in a huge pair of shoes."
is such a brilliant line that I now intend to invent a party game where the reluctant participants are given it and they have to work out the preceding ancedote.
I laughed a lot at that one, Humph old fellow.
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Post by Humph on Apr 4, 2017 9:58:50 GMT
My pleasure ! And indeed your comment has drawn my attention to my own typo in that what I meant to say was that "I couldn't get the image out of my head" I'm going to have to correct that...
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WDB
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Post by WDB on Apr 4, 2017 10:41:07 GMT
Would he still have been old in the afterlife? Those who wishfully believe in such things generally imagine that they'll spend eternity as their favourite version of themselves, surrounded by all the people they loved and none of those they didn't - no awkward family Christmases in heaven, despite the presence of multiple, incompatible generations.
Perhaps there can be multiple, parallel afterlives, in which we can simultaneously play our grandparental, parental and juvenile selves in an infinite number of perfect families. Theists at this point usually tell me I couldn't possibly understand.
And, incidentally, whadda ya mean, 'huge'? Size 10s don't even fit the children in some families.
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Post by Humph on Apr 4, 2017 10:48:55 GMT
Huge for someone who normally wears a 6 then !
Edit- anyway, I should think they must be worn out by now, what with all that celestial wandering about. Wonder what you do then? In his case I'd think he'll be glad to be rid of them.
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Post by Alanović on Apr 4, 2017 11:18:24 GMT
My particular favourite afterlife tale is the Islamic virgins thing. Once you get there and see to it that they are no longer virgins, what then? For eternity. And what about marriage? Isn't rumpy pumpy outside of marriage a sin? Do you have to marry them all? Imagine that. What kind of God is prepared to put dozens of young girls through all that with men they may not be interested in? I mean look at the photos of the ugly bleeding inadequates and sociopaths who have blown themselves up. Not the kind of God I want to spend eternity with, thanks. Wouldn't buy him a half down the pub, frankly. What about lady martyrs? Are there howevermany young lads lined up for them?
Ghosts? Bollocks. My Dad would have come back to see me if he could have, I'm sure of that. Not a sausage. And if I have to put up with my bloody grandmother and mother and her sister tearing strips off each other constantly in the afterlife I'm not going to be happy.
Oh why am I bothering, all this is so patently obvious to everyone, surely.
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WDB
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Post by WDB on Apr 4, 2017 11:20:39 GMT
Quite. I'm guessing these were shoes by Bally - not something I've ever worn but they never looked to be made for the long haul. I remember a label-conscious type who was in my intake at the Household Name IT company rushing to buy a pair with his first pay packet. He also bought a 'starter home' at pre-crash (1989) price, a Fiesta XR2 and a St Bernard. He also got married and spared no expense on that.
The wife ran off with a fitness instructor, the house and car were repossessed and I last heard of him working in the UAE trying to stay out of reach of various other creditors. I've no idea what became of the dog.
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Post by Humph on Apr 4, 2017 11:23:01 GMT
Your supposition is spot on WDB, Re the employer that is !
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WDB
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Post by WDB on Apr 4, 2017 11:28:33 GMT
It's to their credit that even their young sales staff resisted selling a product that appeared not to satisfy a customer's requirements. Except, of course, that it did - sort of.
Whatever happened to them? I don't remember how and when the shops disappeared.
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