Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2017 14:24:43 GMT
It got ridiculous.
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WDB
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Post by WDB on Sept 17, 2017 18:07:39 GMT
So...
...how did it go?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 17, 2017 18:18:21 GMT
Its still going.
I might not have started this had I known. Basically Camilla has had a wonderful time with my parents, my sister and my nieces. However, my Mother is not all that well and this emotional upset is not proving to be one of my better ideas. Camilla is about to leave my family, and is falling apart a bit about it. The logistics have been and are a bloody nightmare, but like the duck analogy only I can see the frantic paddling beneath the surface..
All in all, ask me again on Thursday after the child is back with me. Success or failure will depend on how my Mother and my daughter feel about it after its all over.
Draining though, I'll tell you that.
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WDB
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Post by WDB on Sept 17, 2017 18:58:33 GMT
Ah, that must be a bit difficult. Hope it all works out from here on.
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Rob
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Post by Rob on Sept 17, 2017 22:26:27 GMT
I think the idea will have been a good one at the end. Yes some upset and realisation that parents frail or whatever. But your daughter will have been with grandparents, possibly for last time.
We're going through different issues - father in law again in hospital but mainly because he called 999 in the middle of the night :-( A bit of delirium and it means he's still in albeit a different hospital and no longer an acute type ward.
Your daughter will thank you for this trip one day.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2017 0:02:58 GMT
Thank you, Rob.
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Post by tyrednexited on Sept 18, 2017 7:14:45 GMT
TBH, I'm with Rob on this, though patently, different people do react in different ways, and teenagers in particular might have a different slant.
Just imagine how much worse it could be if the opportunity had been missed and it was the last one. I do hope she (they) appreciates it (and coming to terms with such things is part of life and growing up).
We lived a good way away from both sets of parents. When my father was on his own I used to dedicate one evening a week to go up and see him after work (something that, I admit, I rather enjoyed; getting to know him better than ever before), and then, on the evening of my return from a business trip abroad, he was gone, just like that. I was able to look back and appreciate the opportunities I had taken.
My M-I-L was somewhat further away, and eventually suffering from dementia, but, given my experience, I encouraged SWMBO to visit as often as possible (I used to drive her so that she got a relaxed day with her mother). Difficult at times, but certainly, in retrospect, the right thing to do, and no sense of missed opportunity.
SWMBO's 'duties' now continue in the same vein with her last surviving relative from the generation up; an aunt who lives even further away, and, though the visits are somewhat less frequent, it still seems right and proper to make the effort.
There may be some tears, but it is a grand thing to do.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2017 11:50:41 GMT
M-i-L lives in London. 74 next birthday but acts like a 55 year old. She drives up to us. We occasionally got to see her but thankfully we don't need to worry about her other than perhaps financially, which we can deal with.
Dad now lives in Israel. 83 but like a 70 year old - thankfully. I am an only child, but he moved and its a perfect place for him to be. A more outdoor society, lots of like minded people etc, but I am concerned about the time he slows down. Last year #1 son was in Israel for a gap year so he saw his grandfather a lot and it was good for them both.
I am trying to persuade #2 son to do the same. He is resisting the idea of a gap year, but he is very close to his grandfather and they share a passion for music (if different types, but they both enjoy vinyl..). So I have suggested he has a gap year and he can spend some of his spare time with 'Papa' whilst they can both enjoy it.
In the meantime, at least I have an excuse for time in the sun outside the obvious holiday times.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2017 14:25:57 GMT
Well she's back.
It does appear to have worked out well in the end. She had a great time with my parents, although my Mother tires quickly. She then went out shopping with two of my nieces, and they appear to have had a great time. Since I've now seen the lunch bill and the shopping bill, lets make that a *VERY* great time.
My daughter appears to have forgotten, or buried, the huge upset of both the parting, and of realising my Mother's age/health. So from her point of view I think the balance has worked out well.
My Mother has forgotten all the heartache and upset. I am hoping she doesn't forget too much more, we shall see. So far so good.
I think my Father suffered most. A quiet man who says little but has always been close to my daughter and I know misses her greatly.
Thanks for everybody's help, concern and advice. I really appreciate it and hope I can pay people back at some point.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2017 19:47:12 GMT
Ah the joys of being a teenager.... being able to enjoy and not regret the parting. Youth - it's wasted on the young.
Glad she had a great time. My two boys both did trips as 14/15 year olds and came back a little more mature and rounded.
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